she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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