That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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