Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
