Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
