i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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