Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
