Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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