just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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