i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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