i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
