If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Randomize
