believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
