Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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