return my video game
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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