K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
