Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
