You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
