I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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