Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
