i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
