Whod you bang
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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