Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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