We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
