You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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