Sry I called you an 8
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
