I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
