Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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