we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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