my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
