remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
birth control should be required to get into college
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
