I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
