i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
