the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
