I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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