well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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