using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Vodka?
Forever.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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