is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
