just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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