i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
