Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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