he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
