Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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