the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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