I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
