It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
