i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
