we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
