i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
