He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
