I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
